Polar Bear Solution

Million seller. We write a book on how to move the poor starvin polar bears to Antarctica.

First we quadrant off a section on the map near plenty of ice flows. Then get the U.N. so quit squawking about not doing anything to the continent. Then seed the place with seals and fish and extra penguins. Then we start transporting polar bear families down their assuring genetic diversity. Make sure that we keep them in one place so they don't ravage the poor ecosystem.

Sell a copy to all the tree huggers. Have a polar bear on the cover crying over the last ice cube in the artic. And make a million bucks!

1). Need: Ice melting, bears dying, extinction emminant. Describe the eating, mating, land needs, looks, special heart warming qualities. Lots of pictures of cubs laying on rocks (no ice) depicting how bad off they are.
2). Antarctica full of land and ice that's not going to melt.
3). Problem: Moving an indigenous species into new environments. Well do you want to save the polars bears or save some ice? We say, move the bears.
4). Get the U.N. to allow it. we're going to have to lift the non interference act when we need the minerals and oil under that continent anyway. Let's start with some thing eco-smart.
5). Pick a spot: We pick some arm of the Antarctic that can be isolated and the bears can't run all over the place spoiling the rest of the frozen waste.
7). Figure out what to seed the environment with so they can eat and do so on a timetable that looks smart. More fancy charts and crap. Show pictures of polar bears eating fish and seals. Drawing of them eating some penguins.
8). Do a cost analysis with some pie charts and compare it to the bailout or something, so it looks cheap.
9). Tell how they will prosper for our grandchildren's grandchildren.
10). Epilogue on how we recognize that moving a species if a outlandish idea to some, we show how humans have built pyrimids, dams, recharted rivers, split the atom, etc, to this is in line with all the great developments of the human species. HooRah!!!.

Poor Little Feller

Bears Love Penguins

Penguins Everywhere


Problem Solved